Communication Breakdown

Yesterday (Sunday), there was a marathon in downtown Denver. In the rain. As a consequence of this ill-considered action by "they who must be obeyed" an entire city was late for a city-sized number of Sunday afternoon appointments.

Why do they do this? Why why why? Why didn't the Mayor CALL ME and ask MY ADVICE before scheduling A MARATHON through a smoggy, filthy, crowded city on a day that I had an APPOINTMENT downtown? Is he smoking crack?! I hear they do that sometimes.

There are so many things wrong with this picture it makes me want to throw up.

1) There were police officers standing around in the rain in 40 degree temperatures at every street corner, sopping wet, directing traffic. One should not provoke people who have legal access to guns, tazers and pepper-spray. One should not ask them to stand around in a cold rain without a very, very good reason. I'm surprised they volunteered, but I'm also annoyed that they were ever asked to do this thankless, annoying, and unpleasant job in the first place. Don't we need police officers to fight crime, for god's sake? Sheesh.

2) For the most part they let the runners through and stopped the cars. Occasionally they stopped the RUNNERS to allow a few cars to pass through. The people in the cars were frustrated and angry. The runners . . . well, they were WET, frustrated, and angry. Some of them jogged in place, frowning angrily at the people in the cars. Perhaps because they felt stupid for signing up to run through the rain in a smoggy, filthy city in the rain. Or because they were never informed that their TIME on this race would be fantastically inaccurate. Oh, well. To each his own.

3) I called the lady with whom I was meeting (from my cell phone) to let her know we would be late. She said fine, but her 12:00 appointment would be coming in and we would have to cut our appointment short. I breezily explained to her that, given that the ENTIRE CITY was apparently SHUT DOWN for a footrace, her 12:00 appointment would probably be late also. She just said "we'll see."

4) We had to park in a small lake. My Aunt nearly slipped and fell into it. She didn't fall, but she did succeed in dropping her purse in it! Granted, this isn't the Mayor's fault. But it's got to be someone's fault (other than mine, of course) so I think it should be Mayor Hickenlooper. He deserves it for making us late. We wrapped her purse in a towel in the trunk and forged ahead.

5) When I arrived at my appointment, the lady reminded me that, since I was nearly 30 minutes late, when the 12:00 client arrived we would have to go. I reminded her that her 12:00 would probably be late. She replied for a second time: "we'll see."

THEN her PHONE rang. Guess what? It was her 12:00 client calling to say that she was GOING TO BE LATE!!!!

Why do people do this to me? Why why why? Why don't people listen when I talk? And furthermore - why do they stare at me in the gym? Why do they look at me like I don't belong? Why aren't Hollywood movies any good anymore? Why is Pecan Pie no longer satisfying? Why aren't employers beating down my door to woo me and make me feel special? Why can't I lose weight no matter how hard I work out? Why isn't there more yoga in Denver?

Oh. Well, probably it's not Hickenlooper's fault. Probably it's some minor dignitary. Probably my aunt's purse will dry. Probably people aren't staring at me. It's just me and my ridiculously overblown sense of paranoia and self-importance. Maybe that's why people aren't hiring me. Probably.

Or maybe it's because I'm too insecure to apply. And because I'm just not convinced I want a better job, anyway. So why bother.

:P